HOW TO ADDRESS SAVE THE DATES
You know when Batman turns on his signal because the whole sky lights up! Save the dates are pretty much your wedding bat signal. Save the Dates are also the practice round for addressing your invitations. Ink will be smudged, envelopes will get stained and wine induced spelling errors will happen. Of course, you can skip this all together and just let me address your envelopes! Either way you’re gonna need to know how to address your Save the Dates whether you’re doing it yourself or submitting an Excel sheet to me so I can get them printed for you. I always tell my brides at 6 to 9 months is the perfect time to send Save the Dates out. So let’s get you prepped and Save the Date ready.
- Brooke Torrence
- Ms. Brooke Torrence (over 18)
- Miss Brooke Torrence (under 18)
Traditionally, males under 18 don’t get a title, unlike females under 18 who can be addressed as “Miss”.
- Thomas Lafferty
- Mr. Thomas Lafferty (over 18)
More “rules” that traditional wedding etiquette will tell you to follow. Typically, the male’s name comes first. The exception comes when there are distinguished titles involved. So, if the female is a doctor, her name listed with her title would come before the male partner’s name. Again, most of my brides prefer the first option if just listing the first names along with the married last name.
Paper Love Spell Brides def have a favorite option! It’s the least formal, most playful and IMHO aesthetic goals. A simple “+” between the names creates lots of breathing room on the envelope and feels less like reading a novel.
- Gavin + Hannah Ansley (Paper Love Spell Brides’ favorite option!)
- Gavin and Hannah Ansley
- Mr. and Mrs. Gavin Ansley
- Mr. Gavin Ansley and Mrs. Hannah Ansley
- Dr. Hannah Ansley and Mr. Gavin Ansley
SAME SEX MARRIED COUPLE
Many same sex couples keep their last names after tying the knot, so you’ll most likely be addressing using both of their last names. Some prefer to hyphenate their last names instead. You can start with the name of the person you’re closest too or alphabetically, if you’re equally close to each person.
- Mrs. Keira Veil and Mrs. Britney Pierce
- Keira Veil + Britney Pierce
- Mrs. Keira Veil-Pierce + Mrs. Britney Veil-Pierce
For couples that don’t have a ring on it, you can put the name of the person you are closest to first. So if you’re close to the bride and barely know her plus one, put her name first. List alphabetically if you know both guests equally.
- Kelsey Brady + David Havoc
- Kelsey Brady and David Havoc
- Ms. Kelsey Brady + Mr. David Havoc
If you’re inviting an extra guest, I highly recommend avoiding the term “plus one”. Why? It could lead to some awkward scenarios down the road if you’re intimate wedding is filled with guests you’ve never met. It’s totally up to you, but I would suggest specifically naming the plus one on the Save the Date envelope. That way, the Save the Date isn’t transferred to someone else which could be AWKWARD!
For my wedding, I had to explain this to my fiancé who didn’t realize then potential pitfalls “plus one” could bring. All of our envelopes will specifically have everyone’s names so no one from high school that we haven’t spoken to in years makes a surprise appearance!
If your wedding is going to be adults only, leave the names of the kids off of the envelope. Putting “adults only” on the invitation / Save the Date isn’t a good look!
If the kids are over 18, they should get their own invitations, separate from the parents.
- The Blys
- The Bly Family
- Henry, Violet, Flora, Miles Bly
- Mr. Henry, Mrs. Violet, Miss Flora, And Miles Bly
LEVEL OF FORMALITY
Okay, so traditionally the Save the Date can be addressed less formally than the invitation itself. Meaning, just the first and last name would be fine to use on the Save the Date whereas titles like Mr. and Mrs. would be used on the invitations.
However, if you’re one of my brides you most likely want to go with a more modern, less traditional route and I am totally with you! In fact, a lot of my brides opt to use first thing last names instead of going through the headache of addressing the formalities and wondering what’s appropriate and what’s not. At the end of the day if your wedding guests picks up the envelope and it has their name on it they’re not gonna be judging you for not using Mr. or Mrs.!
Also, if the tone of your wedding invitations is fairly informal and you’re addressing formally on the invitation that creates a little bit of confusion. It’s like being a party animal on the inside and feeling like you have to be formal on the invitation because that’s what you’re supposed to do.
I don't know who needs to hear this BUT.... your invitation should be a reflection of you not what you think you should be doing. Comment below, with any addressing questions you have + you'll get a direct repsonse!